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Monsters
Monsters & Mana PANTING PANTING THUMPING ROARING Get behind me! Seal of protection. GROWLING Hit it with your lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! CRACKLING CHUCKLING BOTH Aaah! You call that a lightning bolt? If you're the remaining hope for your village, they're doomed. I'm a healer, not a fighter. AND PANTING Soaring staff. SOFT MELODY Oh, no. That's the song of eternal slumber. Cast protection from sleep on yourself. Song of eternal slumber, Pidge? That's the YAWNING How come you don't need it? - I'm a dwarf. Come on! SIGHS So sleepy. SHOUTS Wake up! - You're going the wrong way! - SOFT MELODY SNORING GROWLS SHOUTING AND MOANS GROANS SNARLING SHOUTS Huh? GRUNTING - Now! - Got it. Oh, look, it's a crystal. Weird, I've never seen an ogre drop a crystal like this. Let's take it back to the innkeeper, find out where this ogre got it. Oh, man. Come on. That's way on the other side of the Wiebian Swamps. You know how scary and gross those are? Very, very scary and gross. Come on, you big baby. Your village got turned into stone. Do you want to save them or not? HUNK I mean, they're not, like, going anywhere. All right, fine. But I'm not fighting ghosts this time. I'm just running. GROANS Yuck! Yuck. Ohh, so scary and gross. What did I tell you? I cannot believe how sticky this Wiebian Swamp goo is. It's crazy. Hey, you hungry? PIDGE We don't have any money. We're gonna meet the innkeeper and leave. HUNK Oh, man. I would not have run so hard if I didn't think there might be food. PIDGE Fine. SLOWLY SCRAPING This is not the atmosphere I remember from last time. GAME MUSIC PLAYING HUNK Whoa, what are you doing? PIDGE Looking for coins. BOTH Ahh A greasy meat pile for my friend, please. One health plate coming up. Oh, it's you two again. Did you find any clues? We found a crystal, just like you thought we might. Just as I feared. Those ogres are mercenaries. They'll fight for anyone that has crystals. The only person that uses this type is the evil wizard Dakin. Evil wizard? That doesn't sound good. It isn't, though I admit I should have suspected him. There aren't many wizards powerful enough to turn a whole village to stone. So how do we save them? You'll have to defeat Dakin. He's inside Carthian's Lair a tomb of horrors so filled with monsters, traps, and terrors That most heroes would be driven insane at the mere thought of entering. Uh, maybe those villagers like being turned into stone? Okay, all right. So where do we find this tomb of horrors? Just inside the Feldakor Mountains. SHIRO The Feldakor Mountains, you say? You two think you have what it takes to smite evil? Who are you? Me? My name is Takashi Shirogane. I'm a paladin. And you? Me? I'm Block, the sorcerer. Name's Meklavar. Best axe-fighter in three lands. We're on our way to break the curse put on Block's town. The villagers were turned to stone by Dakin. What's your story? I'm on my own adventure. From a young age, I was chosen to be a paladin because of my bright internal light. My master, D'Jahno, taught me the seven pillars of knighthood. He forged not only my mind, but also my body. I became a shield for good and a weapon against evil. Before I could complete my training, a leviathan demon attacked our monastery. It destroyed all we had, including my master. D'Jahno's last words to me were "You no longer need my guidance "to complete your training. " MOANS SOBS GASPS "Defeating the leviathan "will teach you all there is to know. " MOANS WHEEZES No! Where are you guys going? HUNK Sounds like you're too busy to help with this wizard. Good luck with the leviathan. - HUNK Man, that guy was so boring. - SHIRO Wait. PANTING Wait. GROANS As a paladin, I swore an oath to vanquish evil. I cannot deny the righteousness of your quest. I will help you defeat the wizard, and then return to my hunt for the demon that destroyed my master. THUD Ooh. What's that? - THUDS - GASPS AND SNIFFS PIDGE Oh, no! GROANS SCREAM SCREAMING PIDGE No! Shiro's dead. BELCHING SQUEAKING CORAN Shoo, shoo! - Did I really die in the game? - Yes. But that doesn't make sense. The mice aren't playing the game. Don't worry. You can just make a new character. I'm going to be a paladin again. Oh, come on now. Do you really want to play a paladin? You could be something completely different: a maven, a mage, a cleric, a klazgool, a bard. Don't know what's more fulfilling than a paladin. You're already a paladin in real life! GROANING Is everything all right? We heard yelling. We're all good. LANCE What's going on? - We're playing Monsters and Mana. - Monsters and huh? - It's a game. - It's fun. I don't know. How can a game that needs a book be fun? - You ought to read it and find out. - Nah. I've been playing Monsters and Mana since I was a boy. My bandmates and I, the Pirate Polychoral, used to play it all the time. I was always the Lore Master. ALLURA How do you play? Okay, so each person creates a fantastical character. The character is represented by a figurine on this holo-map to help them track their action. But the real fun happens in the mind. Each player gets a turn, and every turn they say what they want to do. The Lore Master, me, knows the difficulty of the task. The person must roll a 20-sided die to see if they can accomplish their action. GASPS A 20-sided dice? How big is that thing? It's normal-sized, it just has 20 sides. No. No, no, no. It's got 20 sides? It's gotta be the size of a Yalexian pearl. Oh. Do you want to play? Don't you guys have something better to do? Like, I don't know, universe-defending stuff? Hunk and I ran into a snag upgrading the Castle's shields. We're running a diagnostic, but all we can do is wait. I'm trying to take a mental break. We've been going really hard lately. I'll play. Lotor's busy handling his imperial responsibilities, and I'm at an impasse with the comet ship. Plus, it sounds fun. Yeah, I already worked out today, so I guess I don't have anything going on. Might as well play your nerd game. CORAN Create your characters with the interface loaded onto these. It will keep track of your stats. Now it's time to begin the heroes' journey. CREAKING Watch out! GROANS PLAYS GRUNTS Ow. I'm the mystical archer Valayun, searching for the rune stone of Lapham. What quest are you on? Block's town was turned to stone by an evil wizard. We tracked him down through his special crystals. - GASPS - Hey, hey-hey, hey! - Whoa! Where'd you come from? - LANCE The name's Pike. I was going to rob you clodhoppers of your junk, but it sounds like the bigger score is helping you jack this wizard with the crystals. So you chose a thief, huh? I'm not a thief. I'm a ninja assassin, the silent killer. My victims never know I'm coming 'cause I don't say a word. They look around, don't see anything, so they drop their guard, but what they don't realize is that I'm lurking in the shadows, silently watching. LAUGHING - Yeah, you're very quiet. - But I do steal things. - JINGLING - In fact. That's a lot of what my character does. - You're a dwarf, huh? - Oh, yeah. I'm Meklavar, a dwarven miner whose precious family heirloom, the Jewel of Jitan, was stolen. I'm on a quest to retrieve it. Precious family heirloom. Mmm Well, it's very fortunate that I arrived here. I can aid you on your quest. I'll summon a mount. GASPING LAUGHING HUNK Did anyone remember to bring torches? I really think my character would have remembered a torch. Oh, yeah? Why don't you check your little inventory there? Oh, no torches, eh? Then I guess you forgot to bring them. GROAN ALLURA Oh, I have something! HUNK It's just a wall. But this is where we're supposed to go, right? Maybe there's a secret here. Maybe you just have to knock. KNOCK CHUCKLES What can I say? I'm good at puzzles and junk. PIDGE Wait. There could be traps. You have to check for them. Why do I have to check for 'em? Because you're the thief. You're the only one in the group with that skill. How do I even check for traps? You roll the 20-sided die, adding your check for traps skill to the roll. If it's high enough, you'll remove the trap. And what if it's too low? GIGGLES You activate the trap. Oh, man! GRUNTS SCREAMING Levitation! SQUAWKING Great work there, Block. Let's keep going. Okay. What's next? Oh, mamma Mia. Look at all this treasure. PIDGE It's our reward for getting past all those traps. This is more like it. We fall for traps all the time in real life and we never get treasure. Wow! A quick draw quiver with a magical creature-summoning arrow. Oh, sweet! Gloves of transmutation. These bad boys can transmogrify the elemental matter of any inanimate object. Awesome! And I got an invisibility cloak. A bowl that is never empty of food. Our days of vandalizing innkeepers' vases are over. LAUGHS Wow, a blazing sword. Hey, guys, check it SCREAMING WHIMPERS Ooh, he dropped a rare item. LAUGHING Fools! Hey, Innkeeper. What are you doing here? CACKLES You dumb-dumbs. I only run the inn to trick foolish adventurers into gathering valuable crystals for me. Thank you for bringing them directly to my lair. Who is this guy? - So you're Dakin? - You were behind this all along! LAUGHING This is where your adventure ends. I'm Shiro's twin brother, Gyro, here to complete Shiro's quest. A paladin again? Only fools would enter my tomb of horrors. I am the most powerful wizard in all of Aurita. Oh, yeah? We don't care. We're here to turn my village back from stone, man. CORAN Your quest is in vain. I've already siphoned off their life force. You would have to permanently defeat me in order to restore it. But instead, I will become the most powerful being in all of the planes. GRUNTING I'm going to evaporate you, just like I did with your twin brother! GROANS Let's get him! - CLICKING - Yah! Yah! Yah! GRUNTS GROANING GROANS Healing Arrow. GRUNTS I will avenge my twin. Water Spout! Embiggen! AND CRUMBLING DEEP VOICE We did it! - Hooray! - Hunk-a-lunk! - We defeated the bad guy! - Yeah! I hope those stone villagers have a little cold hard cash for us. Wow. This game is so amazing. It requires problem solving, team work, creativity. All the skills you'd want to imbue when doing team-building exercises. Stop trying to ruin our fun with learning. LAUGHING HUNK Uh-oh. DEEP VOICE Fools. You did exactly as I planned. Only by being slain by five pure of heart on this evil altar could I become the all-powerful Coranic Dragon! We aren't powerful enough to defeat a dragon, much less a Coranic one. GRUNTING GROANS Fire Healing Arrow! GROANS I'm low on mana. I can't cast any of my big spells. I only have one summoning arrow left. Get back. I'll draw its attacks. PANTING Be gone! - Darg! - We'll never defeat it without a plan. Secret! WHISPERING Hey, I cast "secret. " You can't listen to us. Got it? ALL Secret received. Let's do this. Nanny-nanny boo-boo! Nanny-nanny boo-boo! Come on, come and get me! ROARS Hey! Over here! AND ROARING CHEERING LAUGHS So much fun! Like, too much fun. Great idea to transmute that food into oil. Yeah, if only we could transmute the particle barrier's polarity. CHUCKLES Yeah. To do that you'd need some kind of quantum shift network to simulate a collapse of the wave pocket into a darkening perplexity. Yeah, and that would be impossible without GASPING Changing the Planck Constant. LAUGHS Somehow I understand the fantasy words better than the science ones. I can't get over how great that game was. And my head feels so much better. Thank you, Coran. The game isn't over yet. Wait until you find out who Dakin was working for. Maybe you'll finally be able to avenge your master. How can you have an adventure ready to avenge my master? I just made that story up. I also made it all up, Shiro. That's the real magic of Monsters and Mana. That was incredible! It's crazy how long we've been playing. It seemed like no time at all. Yeah, we have a pretty good time together, don't we? CHUCKLES We sure do. BEEPING Allura, I have grand news. The ship is ready to begin testing. Fabulous. Let's try it. So, who wants to play another round? Sure, count me in. I wanna be a paladin again. GROANING What? GAME MUSIC PLAYING Category:Transcripts